There’s an ambulance sitting outside the apartment building. Two guys, got into a fight, one stabbed the other, and ran off into the night. Police and paramedics are standing around, and one man who looks out from the crowd. He’s distinctive in his business suit, and he doesn’t look like he knows the person who was hurt. But there he stands, offering a helping a hand. He’s a selfless man some would say, a hero, a friend, maybe even a saint. He was the first to arrive on the scene, he’s got blood on his hands, but he isn’t the one who caused the scene. He sat there and held the bloody wound at bay; he talked to the injured man, and told him stay. Didn’t know him from a hole in the ground, but wanted to be with him. He waited with him until the cops came, and gave a statement, fearless some would say. As the injured man got taken away in the ambulance, the man turned and continued his own business. He wiped his hands of the blood, he’s happy that he could help this fellow out. He walks a few paces to his own place, and up the elevator he goes, where nobody knows who he is, what he’s done, or who he saved. He hangs on his walls accomplishments and mistakes. The two marriages he left, the kids that are far away. He sees them on his messenger, their signs set to away, probably at practice, and he’ll see them on Saturday. He’s pleased with his success, business mergers went well, a company out of business, but the whole project didn’t go to hell. He got a big raise out of that deal, even though he practically had to beg, borrow and steal. He has everything he needs, and he thinks for himself, puts his needs before those of others, made sure of his happiness. So some might ask why he didn’t walk away, why he stood there, why he stayed, and the answer is that he’s a selfish man, who’s done things to get where can, and through that selfishness he’s found happiness, which allows him to help those less fortunate.
The world is selfish; nobody cares about anybody but themselves. I find this untrue in the worst of senses. We are selfish people, this is true, but we are also not selfish people. There are two kinds of selfishness, and life takes the right kind of selfishness in order to find happiness and to find selflessness.
The first kind of selfishness is the denial form. We think of ourselves, but we do everything for others in our lives. We feel obligated to do things for people who have grown close to us. We want so badly not to be selfish that we simply deplete our personal resources by doing everything for everyone else and nothing for the self. This is still selfishness because at the end of the day, we lash back out, we keep score, and when someone really needs our help, we turn our backs and walk away, saying we helped enough people that day.
On any other day in today’s world, that man would have seen the stabbed man and walked on by. He would have thought about his own problems, his own worries, what is ailing and stressing him out. He would have closed himself to this person because in today’s world, the key is not to get involved. As people we have already signed up for enough heartache, we’ve already elected to help as many people as we can, and we’re not looking for further heroism or more pride to go with what we’ve already gained. We have sacrificed enough, and our attitude has become one of hatred. We don’t need help because we can help ourselves; we don’t want to help anyone else because we don’t want to get involved. We don’t want to help because we might be seen as weak, a pushover, vulnerable. We don’t want to help because we are already too miserable, and that misery is all that consumes our minds. This is what makes people selfish in today’s world.
The truly selfish person is the one that can help the world. You must first love yourself before you can love anyone else. You must first be happy with yourself before you can help anyone else. A truly selfish person feeds the self, they give the self proper nourishment, proper love, proper worth, and doesn’t allow the world to take advantage of them. They don’t let impossible situations bear them down. They don’t allow people to cling to them, insult them, or chop down their spirit. They realize that there is one person in the world they must make happy, just themselves. Once they are happy and well, they become shining lights for the rest of the world, helping out proper causes, giving to the world in ways the world needs. Because they can be selfish enough to love themselves and give themselves what they need, they become the catalysts in the world today.
That man who helped, he was a catalyst, he said no to two relationships that were causing him stress and harm, he turned a potentially bankrupt business into a promotion for himself, and he helped a man live another day.
Stop thinking about selflessness, stop trying to save the world, stop feeling obligated to help others, stop being afraid of being selfish. Be selfish enough to love yourself, be selfish enough to get what you need, be selfish enough to succeed.
